The Māmmaste Story
I had to do something to get out of the hurt, I had to make sense of it all. I didn’t want to feel numb for the rest of my life. I thought my babies didn’t deserve to die in vain.
Losing three babies affected my wellbeing, my sexuality, my sense of self worth, my ability to care for my family.. I couldn’t really engage with anyone I felt distant from reality, a parallel universe in which I was only existing not living or feeling.
My career was a refuge of busyness, a distraction from the pain, and a space where I felt I could have some control over.
I suffered severe post natal depression, after the birth of our rainbow baby, and I lived in absolute denial about it. I didn’t want to ask for help, or treat my depression!
Grieving the loss of our baby is probably the toughest struggle we will ever have to face as a mamma. Utter loneliness of the burden we bear. We feel that nobody understands, that we are somewhat weird to feel the way we feel, that we should “be better by now” as if there was an ‘acceptable’ time limit to be sad for..
As a mother, I know how it feels.
I know what I was craving for, a space where I could share my pain with others who could comprehend it, who would not judge me, nor feel confronted by it. A place where I could ask about stillbirth photography or how to take my baby home for a few more hours before the funeral, without looking like I was ‘clearly out of my mind’!
So I created Māmmaste. I’ve put together years of coaching, healing and transformation practices into a framework to help other families heal from the loss of their pregnancies.
No two stories are alike. But together we can ease the pain and patch up the pieces so we can make room for a brighter future.
You can read our whole story in the book “Māmmaste” soon to be published. To get notified first when you can pre-order, leave your email here.
My Child, the Divine in Me bows to the Divine in You.
Did you know that you are not alone! #1in4women experience a pregnancy loss. One in Four!
I created the movement Māmmaste -a twist from the greeting Namaste- as a beacon for those who have experienced miscarriage, abortion, still birth or neonatal loss.
Mammaste sings: “My Child, the Divine in me bows to the Divine in you”. It embodies our deepest love and gratitude towards the precious soul that shared our lives for a brief moment. It is meant to ignite the divine light that helps us heal, in search for meaning, understanding, compassion, forgiveness and peace.
It is my belief that when we chose to break the silence of our pregnancy loss and share our stories, even if we only share within ourselves, we start to open up to the opportunities of learnings and growth. We enable our children to teach us what it is which they came to us for. When we start to listen, we allow them to have a voice and in turn we get to hear their message…
I believe their little souls chose us at a moment in time, filled with nothing but love, so they could empower our lives in some magical ways.
What if it all happened for a reason? What if our Child came to us to teach us something?
What is it that we were meant to learn?
I am forever grateful for my three little souls, for they allowed me to be who I am today, and who I am becoming every day.